One of the problems with amateur writers is that they tend to overwrite their narratives. Some of the bigger and more obvious examples are involving new characters who are undeveloped and don’t serve much of a purpose, a side arc that is introduced, but never resolved, unnecessary scenes, and purple prose used for mundane scenes. Those are the big problems. The small ones are using words that carry little to no meaning to the overall prose or narration of the story. Certain words can be filler too. In today’s post, we will discuss filler words. Note: this is in regards to the narrative, not dialogue. If your characters speak using the standard sentence structure of 21st Century English, it’s perfectly okay for your character to say, “Next thing I knew, this guy suddenly slaps me in the face!” But I show you how this is boring in the narrative.
Why get rid of filler words when it’s just a word here and there?
Simple. Imagine your reader enjoying one of your action scenes of a pivotal battle between a knight and the renegade king’s guards. You write this:
Suddenly, the knight let out a scream as the guard’s blade struck out, driving deeply. He gritted his teeth as he saw three more men unsheathed steel, joining in the battle. The knight countered and the guard let out a dying scream as the magical sword punched through the man’s armor.
Abruptly, the knight heard the sound of boots thundering down the hall toward him, the battle far from over.
Bad Adverbs of Instant Action
Suddenly, immediately, abruptly, slowly, and quickly are adverbs of instant action. And they are useless. Pathetically, unequivocally useless. In the above example, There is a battle being waged. Of course, everything will move as fast as possible. So the words “suddenly” and “abruptly” are pointless. Get rid of them.
Verb + out = filler
Cry out, let out, screamed out, shouted out, are examples frequently used by amateur writers and even some experienced ones.
“…the knight let out a scream…” Why use this? Why not, “The knight screamed as the guard’s blade struck”
“…the guard let out a dying scream…” Let’s replace with “…the guard howled his death throes as…”
I saw, I heard, I knew, I kicked butt
The words “saw” (and all its variants and synonyms), “heard,” and “knew” are useless words in about 99% of all cases.
“….the knight gritted his teeth as he saw three more men…” Replace with, “…three more men…”
“…the knight heard the sound of boots…” Let’s rewrite it to “The sound of boots thundered down the hall…”
Here are some more examples:
“Jack saw the man draw his gun.” Go with, “The man drew his gun.”
“Margaret heard a moan in the closet.” Go with, “Someone within the closet moaned.”
Let’s clean up our original example, shall we?
The knight screamed as the guard’s blade struck, driving deeply. He gritted his teeth as three more men unsheathed steel, joining in the battle. He countered, the guard howling his death throes as the magical sword punched through the man’s armor.
The sound of boots thundered down the hall toward him, the battle far from over.